Our prayer was, "Lord, your will be done." In the past it had been, "Lord your will be done...but please keep us in Scott County." Or, "Lord, your will be done in (this specific timeframe)." Or, "Lord, may your will be done...this way." My prayers put God's will in a box inside my will. This time we really meant it..."Your will be done." Whatever that meant. No strings attached. As I studied the life of Moses last year I learned how much God wants to bless us abundantly - it's His greatest desire. Often like myself, the Israelites knew this but seemed to only be able to submit to His true will when times were extremely terrible. When the Israelites lived by their own will or made decisions out of their fears, life was not good. But once they submitted to the Lord, life was better than they could have imagined. Life for our family was not extremely terrible...in fact, life was good...great, actually. And we heard God call us out of suburbia to a place where we can raise healthy food for people. So we chose to submit and wander the wilderness for awhile until the Lord brought us to a new place.
Zillow had become one of our best friends. Along with reading the news on his favorite new source apps, Travis would spend some time each night scanning Zillow for properties all over Minnesota and even some in Wisconsin, Iowa, and Kansas. He had been doing this since 2013 - before we bought our Belle Plaine farm. Between Zillow, MLS listings, and county websites, we knew every detail of every possible property within 6 hours of us.
One night before I fell asleep Travis was reviewing our options with me so we could get some showings booked. The perameters were:
- 14+ acres
- Close enough for Travis to travel to one of his offices at least once per week
- Capability of raising animals
Most of our options included cropland. Cropland would take a few years to convert it into good pasture land since we know the Lord is calling us to raise grass-fed/pasture-raised meat. There were a couple properties with cute farmhouses on it. There was one that I had been saying no to for a long time because the house was too big, but all of it's 40 acres was in pasture - exactly what we needed. We scheduled showing for all of them.
Travis and I drove to this 40-acre property separately. There is no way to get to this house without driving on a gravel road. I was cringing at the sound of rocks dinging the paint on my van. At the same time I was smiling at the thought of this tucked-away property, seemingly on it's own little island, only 30 minutes south of 494. I turned onto the driveway. (The paved driveway.) My heart skipped a beat as I slowly drove the 4-tenths-of-a-mile-long drive over rolling hills and a small creek, between a blast of trees and to the most beautiful farm view I've ever seen. Set high up on a hill on the very eastern property boundary, the home faces west toward every gorgeous sunset. It was as if the heavens parted and the glory of the Lord shone down to say, "This is it!" I hadn't even gone into the house but I knew it was the place God had in store for us.
We walked the property boundaries, through the barn, and into the shop. Then we went through the house. The house is over 5,000 square feet!!! I started to get sad and slightly depressed. I really wanted less house to clean, not more (as you can see from my last post, that was a bid deal for me). I know our family can live in small spaces and do really well. We would lose each other in 5,000 square feet!
Message written in July:
Sadly, we are not buying a house anytime soon. There are a small handful of things that have occurred - out of any of our control (in fact, it has to do with the ex-wife of the seller and he doesn't even have control over it!). These few things have thwarted our sale thus far. We've been praying daily that everything would get ironed out in a timely fashion. The contract we have and the mortgage interest rate we have expire tomorrow. The entire sale expires tomorrow. We will go back to the drawing board. Once expired, the earliest we can expect to have a house is end of August, early September.
I'm trying hard not to be a grumbling Israelite when I know God has taken care of every last need and detail. I unfortunately can relate well with the Israelites now as I recognize myself getting frustrated at the constant clutter of 6 people in our small space...the 'unfresh' aroma of 6 people in a small space and one bathroom that has a holding tank for our excretions (it doesn't just flush away)...the unending pile of dishes I can't hide in my dishwasher - because I don't have one ...the 'pilot failure' indicator light telling me that I still don't have any hot water to wash my dishes or take a shower or wash my face - and haven't for a couple of weeks...the lack of space my children have to go outside and run around and be loud or invite friends over to play here since we are in a packed RV park...the lack of space we have to invite someone over to join us for a meal - because even our family can't fit at our table...the lack of food we have because our refrigerator is so small. I'm a grumbling Israelite.
They grumbled remembering all the good things they had before (they complained about their fresh meat and vegetables while I complain about things like space to run, more than one bathroom, a dishwasher, etc.) and weren't willing to take on the challenges and changes. I'm forgetting the consequences the Israelites had for complaining about their difficult, yet temporary, journey. I'm forgetting about how God gave them everything they needed during this transition time and led them to a place much better. I'm forgetting that He's doing the same for us. Today I'm praying that God scrubs my heart. Even as I write this I'm in tears contemplating what a mess this all is. It's frustrating and I want to blame someone. If I haven't been in tears today I've been crabby - so crabby that Travis decided not to work from home and left to go to a coffee shop. I don't blame him.
While I'd love prayer that this sale miraculously closes tomorrow, more importantly I need prayer that I will not be a grumbling Israelite. That I will just trust that God has this completely under control. That I will accept the challenges that we have been given with a joyful heart. Pray that our whole family can embrace the fact that we have more time to be close (physically and emotionally) because our space requires it and because it is good. Pray that we can find solutions to the problems that are really problems and be okay with changes. I definitely need more prayer for myself than I do a house. If you will join me in prayer, I would greatly appreciate it. You are amazing! Thank you!!!
Dreams are coming true in Northfield. Parker has her own live baby dolls - the cats. She hasn't dressed them up yet, but she's wrapped them up in baby blankets, taken them for walks in the wagon, and declared them her children. Lincoln has often been a good sport and agreed to be the dad. Lincoln is much more excited, however, that he can urinate in the yard and not get in trouble. Taite loves the idea that this place can be a battle ground. Nerf guns, Star Wars sabers, bb guns, or 22's. (Of course BB guns and 22's only come out with adults and never get pointed at people.) They all have their place at Adaugeo Farm Northfield. Travis is loving driving our large, bright orange, Kubota tractor. He's used it to dig posts, move hay bales, mow brush, plow snow, and give tractor rides. It's his favorite and most versatile farm toy. And for me, while I've spent much of my time unpacking boxes, searching Pinterest for decorating and organizing ideas, painting things, and building things, my favorite thing about this new place is the view. I often say, "I can't believe we get to live here!" as I sit in a rocking chair in the kitchen or in an adirondak chair on the deck or in a camping chair by the firepit gazing west over the pasture into the sunset. I am still pinching myself.
This beautiful place is all His. We are undeserving, but grateful. I hesitate sometimes even to tell the story or share pictures because I don't want anyone to think that if you give up your own desires and follow God's plan, then you'll get a big house and some good acreage. Instead it often means sacrifice and pain. But we know that we know that we know that we know that the Lord works all things for good for those He calls
We know God has us here for His purposes. We know part of it is to raise good food for people. We are excited to do that, but we know there is more to His plan. This house is too big for 6 people. I wonder how He will plan to use the house for His good purposes. I'm confident He will bless more than just the Wilson's through this place. I can't wait to see how His plan unfolds.
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